Shikagoland Reads the Headlines

Its Valentine’s Day. The History Channel has seen fit to ruin my day by not airing their doc about about St. Valentine’s Day Massacre tonight as usual. I’m not sure whats more entertaining than grainy crime scene photos and dramatic narration but WHATEVER.

Let’s see whats going on in the news.

Newt Has Special Valentine’s Day Plans – Oh, well thats nice. Let’s see wha-…..OMG

“All I can promise is that I believe she will be quite happy tomorrow night,” Gingrich said. “I think for the first time in a while we have a private dinner and hopefully [can] exchange gifts, and reconnect a little bit.

I think I can speak on behalf of the American people when I say, EWWWWWWWWWW. Who really needs to think about a goblin and a femot getting it in first thing in the morning? Thats just un-American.

MySpace gains 1 million users, touts more music than Spotify – 1. Dear Justin Timberlake: method acting is useless AFTER you’ve made the movie. 2. Spotify won’t give my computer VD. 3. Yes, Facebook is terrible. But myspace will ALWAYS be worse. 4. Justin Timberlake just seems like a huge douche. 5. Yes, I’m still bitter he broke up *NSYNC.

Korea: The land of freaky, funny love -I remember when I first started getting into kpop and kdramas. The concept of “couple t-shirts”, 100 day anniversaries, and love motels seemed so absolutely ridiculous. But now…well lets just say I have on more than one occasion mentally debated the cuteness of couple rings and goddammit I think the whole Valentine’s Day/White Day/foreveralone day Black Day tradition is super fun.

Kate Upton’s SI Swimsuit Edition Cover is out – Oh, thats nice. *eats another pink frosted sugar cookie*

Fox Pundit: Women in Military Should Expect to Get Raped: So, the fact that ANYONE would just accept rape is enough to make me vomit up my sugar cookie, but to suggest that women who are in service of country should EXPECT IT!? Apparently our military is full of testosterone pumped animals who simply CANNOT contain themselves around vaginas. Gross.

Valentine’s Day Freebies – Red box dvds, Krispy Kreme Donuts and Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream? No comment.

Washington Governor Signs Gay Marriage Bill Into Law: this country exhausts me sometimes, but there are glimmers of hope.

Matt Bomer Comes Out as Gay – Good for him. I still have eyes and I can gaze upon his intense flawlessness so really, everyone wins. Soooooo prettttyyyyyy. *faints*

I hope everyone enjoys their Valentine’s Day. Don’t be a jerk. And don’t celebrate “Single Awareness Day”. Thats just embarrassing.

One thought on “Shikagoland Reads the Headlines

  1. Valentine’s Day Freebies – Red box dvds, Krispy Kreme Donuts and Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream? No comment. <Wow the female recipe for "How to Get Over a Breakup" SMH!

    Matt Bomer Comes Out as Gay – Good for him. I still have eyes and I can gaze upon his intense flawlessness so really, everyone wins. Soooooo prettttyyyyyy. *faints* <NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! *gives up hope*

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s