Too High to Get Over, Too Low To Get Under

Archive for the category “Politics”

Shikagoland Has Been Neglecting Her Duties, Reads the Headlines


Forgive me readers for I have sinned, its been nearly a MONTH since my last entry.

I totes feel kinda bad about that.

I’ve been dividing my time between making serious decisions about the new site (HallyuHoney, coming to a web browser near you…one day), dealing with a lot of craziness at my job, drinking soju on Thursday nights with a friend, and…going to Mexico on vacation.

I know, I’m not gonna get much sympathy for this…

I’ve missed a lot of goings on in the world around us, so now I’m going to try and catch up in my own special way.

- came. It saw. It conquered. I’ve seen it twice and if you haven’t yet….well then you have no time to read the rest of this. GO TO THE MOVIES NOW WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!?

- Sorry though. Unless you are already regularly fucking around in the stock market at high levels or already extremely rich, you aren’t likely to be able to snag a piece of the pie. Go play Farmville or something.

- In political news, the patriarch of the Ricketts family (who own the Chicago Cubs, among other holdings) decided to take it upon himself . Fine. Whatever. What makes this story hilarious is that Ricketts’ main mission seems to be stopping President Obama because he spends too much money…while at the same time his family is asking for MILLIONS in tax breaks (150 million of them) to renovate their privately owned baseball stadium. Also, the person they are asking this from? Oh, just the guy who used to be President Obama’s CHIEF OF STAFF. OMG. I CANNOT. Are these people unaware of  The F***ing Epic Twitter Quest of @MayorEmanuel ? Within Chicago city limits, thats not fiction. You pissed Rahmbo off, folks. At this point you’d be better off starting a Kickstarter page.

- Also, I think that would make a better story than or whatever but…lets not give Stephanie Meyer any ideas.

- Children can be pretty scary in general. But then you get a look at what their and…well. Here kid, have the cookie. I don’t want any trouble.

- In Kpop news, YG has finally started announcing countries for . But nothing yet on whats going down in North America, therefore my hunger strike continues.

- In other kpop news, kpop group Dalmatian is in the midst of their comeback promotions. I’m one of the twenty people who started hardcore stanning for them back when they first debuted so as a result…I’m in a bit of shock at their new image. I mean, once upon a time they performed on television WHILE WEARING DOG SUITS. And now they are all “hey noona. Look at all these abs and fancy hair. I’m gonna dance shirtless now and you’re gonna like it noona. AWWWW YEAH”…or at least thats how I see it. *ahem* Just.. go watch the video or something.

And lastly, to bring it back to local news: Chicago is currently collectively struggling under the tyranny of NATO protestors. Its gonna be a long weekend folks. Lets try to keep it together.  Sure, a bunch of random hipsters will be , doing , stealing , and , but hey. When it starts to get on your nerves too much, step back (from the smelly protestor), take a deep breath (I told you to step back), and reflect on the fact that we live in a country where we are allowed to peaceably assemble…to point and laugh while some trustafarian gets shoved into the back of a police van . Its the American way.

Shikagoland Would Like an Explanation, Sweden

Seriously. Look at how happy all the bystanders are. GROSS

Mmmm, dismembered negro cake. Great taste, less filling!

I’m not really the type of person who likes to fly off the handle without any context but…there is basically no context that would make this ok. This isn’t a penis cake at a bachelorette party.

This cake was part of a “installation” at the Modern Art museum in Stockholm. The supposed purpose of the piece is to highlight the plight of female circumcision. The woman cutting the cake is Lena Adelsohn Liljeroth, the Minister of Culture and sports in Sweden. The artist is Makode Aj Linde, and in a special added bonus, thats his head at the top of the cake. Not a model of his head. THATS HIM.

From the artists Facebook page:

“Before cutting me up she whispered, ‘Your life will be better after this’.”

Mmm hmmm.

So we’ve got a male artist making a piece of “art” that is supposed to highlight an injustice pushed upon many African women and girls…and then a bunch of white people laugh and have a goddamn awesome time while cutting into it. Everyone around is laughing and drinking and having a jolly good time. Yeah, I really get the impression that Liljeroth really gets their pain, don’t you?

But wait, there’s more:

the culture minister began cutting a large cake shaped like a black woman, symbolically starting at the clitoris.

Yes, because a stereotypical  depiction of a black woman isn’t quite bad enough, they had to…mutilate the “genitals” of the creation….to demonstrate how horribad genital mutilation is? Really gotta drive the point home I guess.

In addition to the tumblr posts about the subject, I found that further explain the participants and shows video as to what was going on, including how the artist “screams” every time someone cuts the cake…much to the delight of everyone around.

Not for the weak of hearts, my friends.

For those of my readers who aren’t quite as familiar with some of this gross history of using the bodies of black women in these and other horrible ways, please read up on , who was enslaved and exhibited as a side show freak. Follow that up with learning about , including the book by Rebecca Skloot.

The Burden of Proof: Black Children and the Rejection of Innocence

Hangs out with rappers, wears hoodies, sags his pants. Is he scary to you?

What about him?

Dear readers, let me tell you a story.

Its a random Friday night on the campus of the Big State University I attended. Hundreds of students converged on the auditorium of the student union to attend a comedy show. This kind of thing happened pretty regularly. Always sponsored by some student group or another. A few local comedians and then one big name act. It was always well attended because our surroundings had little to offer if you weren’t involved in the Greek system, and it was a surefire way to get to see all your friends. There was almost always a party in the student union after these events, so it was a easily achieved night out.

On this particular night, we were about twenty minutes into the show when an altercation broke out, outside the auditorium, in a different part of the building. As I found out later, it was a few girls who got into each other’s faces, over something stupid like a guy. I say found out later because no one inside even knew it was happening. All we knew was that for no reason at all, campus police stopped the show, rushed the auditorium, and forced everyone out of the building. After several minutes of confusion, we’re all standing around in front of the student union, wondering what to do. People are separated from their friends (this was in the dark ages, everyone didn’t have cell phones yet), its dark, and people are trying to find out whats going on and wondering if the party (remember, it was going to be in the same building we had just been ejected out of) was going to happen. Campus police got on their bull horns and told everyone to disperse. People sorta wandered away from the doors but…we didn’t HAVE to go anywhere. We were students. On campus. Milling around. This wasn’t passive resistance, it was just…college students. Milling around.

Unfortunately, campus police didn’t see it that way. Within minutes the air was thick with pepper spray. All you could hear was choking and crying. People were stumbling around because they couldn’t see or breathe. I remember one girl falling to the ground while her friends desperately searched her purse, and not finding what they needed, screaming and asking if anyone had a inhaler their friend could use.

This is all totally outrageous, right? Makes no sense? An abuse of police power?

Do you change your mind about that if I tell you all the students and performers were black?

Over the last few days/weeks (depending on when you found about it) the murder of Trayvon Martin has brought all sorts of issues into the spotlight. But the one that sticks out to me is the fervent need of some to prove that racism has nothing to do with the case…while searching just as fervently for a way to prove that Trayvon “deserved” it…which is…racist.

Just as the folks on twitter and tumblr gleefully took to their Google searches to find pictures of Geraldo in a hoodie, certain media outlets are tripping over themselves to find other ways to blame Trayvon’s murder on him. Theories abound on why he was out on a school night (he was shot on a weekend), whether he was a troublemaker (he was suspended from school at the time of his murder), why he was walking slowly in the dark (it has since been learned he was talking to a girl on the phone, a phone call he probably wouldn’t want to make in front of his family), and, most disturbingly, what he did to George Zimmerman that forced Zimmerman to defend himself. In this case, like so many others, the onus is on Trayvon Martin and his supporters to prove why he didn’t deserve to get shot.

Think about that for a moment. George Zimmerman shot a unarmed child that he stalked, and, for some, it seems impossible to believe that Trayvon was anything more than a scared child, defending himself against a stranger with a gun.

Whatever dirt people dig up on Trayvon (he was a teenage boy -  they’ll find some trivial teenage thing as “proof”) will still do little to sway me and so many others. George Zimmerman did not know that Trayvon Martin had a suspension from school. George Zimmerman did not know that Trayvon Martin played football. George Zimmerman did not know that Trayvon Martin probably sagged his pants on occasion. George Zimmerman did not know that Trayvon Martin once saved his father from a burning home. George Zimmerman did not know Trayvon Martin went on ski trips with his family. George Zimmerman did not know that Trayvon Martin was Trayvon Martin.

All George Zimmerman knew was the there was a black kid walking around and to George Zimmerman, and countless others like him, that made him “suspicious”. And being “suspicious” is apparently a offense punishable by death. It doesn’t matter if Trayvon Martin was a straight A student, tutored younger children after school, fed meals to the homeless on weekends, and ALWAYS recycled his glass bottles, he would still be dead. All that mattered in this scenario was that he was born black, and by virtue of that, he was handed a death sentence.

I don’t understand a world where committing some as yet to be determined rebellious act, justifies killing a child. I don’t understand a world where discovering that Trayvon Martin had a drink at a house party or turned in his homework late justifies being shot in cold blood. I don’t understand a world where Trayvon Martin’s mother is robbed of the chance to grieve her child, and instead has to watch his name be dragged through the mud, while the name of his murderer is wiped clear. I don’t understand a world where a black child is presumed guilty and has to prove his innocence from six feet under.

I’ve been drunk before. Smoked marijuana once (yes, seriously). Got suspended from school for one day in the 5th grade. Kept a jug of rum under my bed in college before I was 21. Flipped the bird into a camera. Ditched class and got detention. And probably a ton of other teenage things that I can’t remember. I also won a scholarship to one of the top secondary schools in the country. I played two instruments and sang in multiple school vocal groups. I wished we wore uniforms in HS because I was too busy with school work to worry about clothes. I went to see Titanic with my best friend 11 times.  If you asked my mom right now, she’d tell you I was an angel as a child. But…if I had gotten shot by a white man when I was 17 or 20, the media would portray me as a deviant alcoholic slut. If I got raped or beaten tonight, someone would dig up a picture of me wearing a two piece on vacation in Hawaii, or a friend grabbing my boob at a party as proof that I was not pure and angelic, and therefore partially to blame for my assault.

Black people are not allowed innocence. We’re not allowed to “just be kids”. These baseless and long held notions of the deviance of black children (and other minorities) is why a group of students standing in front of a building on the college campus we were all paying to attend can be pepper sprayed, while at white frat houses down the road underage drinking, property damage, and noise violations are let off with a warning and a chuckle. On that very same college campus I was present at a frat party where a couch was set on fire on the front lawn. A couch that had been thrown through a window weeks earlier. I was present at both these occasions (and the only black person around) and while the police showed up for the fire, they merely watched as it was put out with a hose, and told everyone to go home…which didn’t happen because they just drove off.

Kids will be kids, you know?


Last night while reading twitter, I came across a few people discussing the fact that some members of the “Hunger Games” fandom were upset about the casting of a black girl to play a character in the book. In the interest of full disclosure, I have not read the Hunger Games books, nor have I seen the movie.  But curiosity piqued, I followed the links to the tumblr page , which is where I found the tweets posted above. The main point of contention seems to be, the character Rue is supposed to be innocent and pure and you’re supposed to be sad when she dies: an experience that the viewer is now deprived of because the actress portraying her is black.

If you can even attempt to justify to me what there is about this girl that would make you less sad that she was killed then…well then you just might be a racist piece of crap. There is something inherently wrong with you if you need a little girl to be white in order for you to feel bad about her dying. If you feel like you wasted tears crying over a black character, then you just might be  are a racist piece of crap. The only difference is that in your head you pictured white skin, and that white skin immediately made your version of the character more worthy of love, and more worthy of your grief.

I am in no way equating the death of a fictional character with the very real death of a child, but the reactions to the two are indicative of big problems in our society and worth picking apart. These kinds of reactions, the tendency to blame the victim, leads to a society where only a precious few are protected by the laws that are supposed to protect us all. When our lives are valued less than others, how is that different than the days when blacks were viewed as 3/5ths of a person? Its not that long ago in our history where blacks were forced to drink at different water fountains, where lynchings were a good excuse to bring out the family for an afternoon of fun and the beaten bodies of black people hanging from trees served as entertainment. Emmitt Till was brutally murdered, his bodily mutilated, for speaking to a white woman while black. A few decades later  Trayvon Martin is murdered for walking while black. Where is the progress? When does it stop being about blacks bending and molding themselves to become  “acceptable” to whites? When do we stop and realize that no matter how we dress, or talk, how educated we are or not, we are essentially powerless in the face of the ignorance based fear/anger/resentment white America cloaks itself in?

Racism is a touchy subject in our society. But if you’re white,  please excuse me if I don’t care that examining your biases and prejudices makes you “sad”. Excuse me if I don’t feel bad that confronting your privilege makes your head hurt. Don’t expect me to understand that telling your father or friend or partner that they are being racist makes you uncomfortable.  If you have to shed a few tears while coming to terms with the fact that you and people who look like you receive preferential treatment in this country, consider yourself lucky that those tears are the only price you’ll have to pay. The price of prejudice is this country is much higher for minorities.

And apparently, its a price payable on death.

Shikagoland Reads the Headlines

Its gorgeous and sunny outside and I’m stuck inside.

Lets do this.

. – Water is wet. Bears shit in the woods. And apparently use toilet paper. I think the most maddening thing about Rush’s little rant to me is his insistence that birth control is something you take based on how much sex you have. Like…whew, this is gonna be a big weekend! I better hydrate and double up on my birth control pills! Its not…VIAGRA or anything.

they simulate what it might look like if/when the Cubs finally win the World Series, complete with a Weiner Circle celebration and absolute madness on Clark St. Thoughts? – My thoughts? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!


: I currently have an IKEA couch in my apartment that I have shoved against a wall because I lost the screw that was supposed to anchor the arm of the couch INSIDE SAID ARM. So. I think I’ll pass.

: now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m about to go check to hopefully discover a relative I was previously unaware of. Preferably one who just won $336 million dollars.

:Has this dude never heard of a book bag and the candy section at Walgreens? But this reminds me, I need to call my lawyer and get an update of my lawsuit against my friend for taking me to a free screening of Clash of The Titans. *shudders* Release the bullshit.

– Her father blames AMC. If snacks didn’t cost so much, his daughter wouldn’t have had to eat his desk toys.

Wow. I had no idea Newt Gingrich was that hard up for campaign money. (sidenote: this author does not condone children attempting to act as crime fighters. Its dangerous.)

But at least the girls got a new badge out of it!

Shikagoland Reads the Headlines

Its been a long time, I shouldn’t have left you. Without some silly articles to read through.

*diddy bops*

– Well. Actually The President wants people to…you know what. Fuck Santorum. Lots of people crack jokes about this based on the fact that ‘ol frothy here clearly believes in college for himself, seeing as how he has a Masters degree AND a Law degree. But I’m less inclined to joke because this is just…UNREAL in its level of entitlement. Surely Santorum doesn’t believe that wealthy white Christian kids shouldn’t go to college. I’m sure his wealthy white Christian children will have every opportunity to go wherever they want. There is something FAR more sinister going on. On the surface he’s just being a dick and trying to appeal to the backwards thinking sheep for whom the word liberal = communists who are going to take all my money and give it to them blacks/hispanics/etc. But really, what he’s saying is: lets not let just ANYONE think they can go to college and prosper. Some people just need to be poor. And we would prefer that those people be brown. So we can continue to live the dream and run the world. WHATEVA WHATEVA I DO WHAT I WANT.

–  No, not the one they use for racist humor. A hot one. Or something. And no, this is totally NOTHING like that time Friends caved to pressure about not having any black people on the show by casting Aisha Tyler in a completely pointless role. Nope. Totally different.

- You remember that thing I said in the Santorum blurb about something more sinister going on underneath the surface? That applies here. The above gif also applies.

– Let me sum it up for you. “Black women don’t hate themselves for not looking like Gisele and clearly thats some kind of problem”. Or something. See above gif.

: Yeah, its also quite useful for stalking. Thanks for clearing that up, bro.

Dear: South Korea. I’m still exceptionally butt hurt about the blackface thing. but to show there are no overall hard feelings…


My feelings are very complicated.

Shikagoland Reads The Headlines

I’m too tired to really have any opinions, but because I love you people, I’ll try.

By all accounts, Jeremy Lin is having the best February ever. Or at least he was til ESPN decided to make racist headlines about him, Kim Kardashian set her sights on him, and then…well then there’s this:

Ma’am. Please tuck your thirst.

– I’m totally onboard with this. I mean why should anyone get into college because they fit some arbitrary category? Make everything level and have people get in on their merits! Oh wait…they aren’t talking about people who get into colleges because of legacies? Oh.

Its Packzi Day! – You know whats even more fun? Going to a bakery and buying them. I’m just saying. I went to a local bakery a picked up a delicious assortment…which I didn’t intend to do but they had a $10 minimum on credit card purchases. So. I ended up with chocolate custard, cheese, raspberry lemon, and plum. #fatgirlproblems

– But I’m not sure what the point is because if you’re not not caught up, they are spoilers and if you are caught up then its nothing new as all the trailers are made up of footage from previous seasons. And really, I didn’t need to ever see Joan and Roger screwing on the street ever again.

But I will take any opportunity to post this.

– Because my twitter feed blew up with the news last night, I felt compelled to listen to the  “Birthday Cake” remix. Please note that I had never heard the original but people seemed to like it a lot and I figured it might at least be something I could shake my butt to in the kitchen when no one was around (See also: ‘) but…wow. The song is pretty much crap. Which…well most of their songs are crap so I don’t know why I thought this would be different. Bygones.

– I would like to state for the record that I first saw these pictures while I was eating a raspberry lemon packzi. And then I cried tears made of a powdered sugar glaze. She may be talentless…and 98% biodegradable plastic…but her body is insane.

– Pearl clutchers the world ’round ask: who is watching the child of two incredibly wealthy people; nominate Angelina to adopt Blue Ivy for her own well-being. Next item on the agenda: Is that Beyonce’s real hair and will she let me touch it?

And finally:

Shikagoland Reads the Headlines

Its Valentine’s Day. The History Channel has seen fit to ruin my day by not airing their doc about about St. Valentine’s Day Massacre tonight as usual. I’m not sure whats more entertaining than grainy crime scene photos and dramatic narration but WHATEVER.

Let’s see whats going on in the news.

– Oh, well thats nice. Let’s see wha-…..OMG

“All I can promise is that I believe she will be quite happy tomorrow night,” Gingrich said. “I think for the first time in a while we have a private dinner and hopefully [can] exchange gifts, and reconnect a little bit.

I think I can speak on behalf of the American people when I say, EWWWWWWWWWW. Who really needs to think about a goblin and a femot getting it in first thing in the morning? Thats just un-American.

– 1. Dear Justin Timberlake: method acting is useless AFTER you’ve made the movie. 2. Spotify won’t give my computer VD. 3. Yes, Facebook is terrible. But myspace will ALWAYS be worse. 4. Justin Timberlake just seems like a huge douche. 5. Yes, I’m still bitter he broke up *NSYNC.

-I remember when I first started getting into kpop and kdramas. The concept of “couple t-shirts”, 100 day anniversaries, and love motels seemed so absolutely ridiculous. But now…well lets just say I have on more than one occasion mentally debated the cuteness of couple rings and goddammit I think the whole Valentine’s Day/White Day/foreveralone day Black Day tradition is super fun.

– Oh, thats nice. *eats another pink frosted sugar cookie*

: So, the fact that ANYONE would just accept rape is enough to make me vomit up my sugar cookie, but to suggest that women who are in service of country should EXPECT IT!? Apparently our military is full of testosterone pumped animals who simply CANNOT contain themselves around vaginas. Gross.

– Red box dvds, Krispy Kreme Donuts and Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream? No comment.

: this country exhausts me sometimes, but there are glimmers of hope.

– Good for him. I still have eyes and I can gaze upon his intense flawlessness so really, everyone wins. Soooooo prettttyyyyyy. *faints*

I hope everyone enjoys their Valentine’s Day. Don’t be a jerk. And don’t celebrate “Single Awareness Day”. Thats just embarrassing.

Shikagoland Reads the Headlines

So here’s the thing: I LOVE TWITTER. Randomly dropping snark about whatever topic I wish? Genius. Love it. Sometimes it takes one tweet. Sometimes it takes 5. But I’m usually able to maximize my snark within character limit requirements. Which is awesome because I just fire off and move on.

But that doesn’t work so well with blogging.


I would like to introduce a segment I’ll call: Shikagoland Reads the Headlines.


Let us begin:

– (link includes cell phone video of the couple checking out with serious “U Mad?” expressions on their faces while people in the store whine passive aggressively) Douchebags. As much as Target pretends to be horrified by these types of events, I’m sure they really love it. However, this shit chafes my ass. Target special designer collections are the new ticket scalper. I hate ticket scalpers. Back in the olden days when Ticketmaster had locations in grocery stores I came home from college one weekend to buy concert tickets. *NSYNC concert tickets. Yes, in the olden days you could physically GO to a TM booth and BUY tickets. I know. Contain your shock.  I figured on the south side of Chicago, I was unlikely to encounter a crowd and I was all set. Imagine my surprise at showing up to find four old men already in line with a massive stack of cash. And what did they buy? *NSYNC tickets. LOTS of them. While I stood there and sharpened my comb into a shiv whined passive aggressively.

– I long for the time when the whackjob politicians with no chance in hell of winning the election were at least entertaining. Like Ross Perot. That mf’er was HILARIOUS.

- First, let me just say it is impossible to take this man seriously. Second, all you have to do to make him shut up is remind him that he used to look like this.

Calling somebody else fat won't make you any skinnier. Calling someone stupid doesn't make you any smarter. And ruining Regina George's life definitely didn't make me any happier.

And I’m 100% sure that Michelle Obama never said anything in public about her “big black ass” because I don’t remember hearing about Bill O’Reilly experiencing a crippling orgasm live on air and then curling up in the fetal position under the anchor desk singing “is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?” over and over. But. I’m behind on my news. I’ve been busy.

– Facebook. Herpes. All the same at this point.

– And somehow the thing that amazes me the most is that one of the kidnapped women asked their kidnappers to put out his cigarette as they were being…kidnapped and driven away in to the dessert.  She also refused coffee that was offered because she doesn’t like it. WORST.HOSTAGES.EVER.

– *ahem* I try not to get too personal here, but I am a massive kpop fangirl. So I’d just like to put out there that BigBang is amazing and I will go all hipster about it if they ever get really famous here. YOU WASN’T WITH ME ONLINE ORDERING CDS FROM KOREA and all that. I love them. And because I love you all….yeah I’m totally writing a post about them in the near future. Because I care. And want you to be informed. And then hopefully YG will see it and give me free concert tickets or something.

Let’s Party! And by party I mean continue to drink my coffee and nod my head along.

And then once we’re all fully awake, LETS PARTY FOR REAL!!!!

This Picture Needs No Witty Captions or Commentary

(via NYT Florida primary . caption: Mr. Santorum addressed the congregation at the Worldwide Christian Center in Pompano Beach on Jan. 22.)

And I really thought nothing was EVER gonna top this photo from the last Presidential race shenanigans.

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